Its about noon on Sat., day 2 of our 3 day Vegas stay. My girlfriend Paula, my friend Linny and I are returning from some (profitable, at least for me) time on the Strip to our Vegas home (MSS) for a little rest &/or downtime.
Paula & I get to our room where we relax. I spend most of the time watching B-Ball on the TV (the Ariz-UConn game was a thriller, overtime and all!), while Paula makes a call home to her folks.
After an hour or so, our room phone rings... its my sister Keitsa. I had bought tickets beforehand for all of us to see the stand-up comedian D.L. Hughley (from the sitcom show "The Hughleys") perform at Sams Town tonight at 8pm. and my sister was calling in order to get our itineraries together. She also says that Dee and herself want to hook up (she, her friend Dee and my mom are staying at the Vegas Club) with us today and maybe hang out for a bit before the show. I ask her what about Ma?
She tells me Mom hit a nickel machine jackpot for TEN THOUSAND...
NICKELS!
It takes me a second or so (carry the one, bring down the zero) to figure out that the actual amount is $500. GREAT! YAY!! But honestly, the amount seemed kinda small when the first thing I heard out of my sister's mouth were the words "ten thousand", but 500 bucks is still a STELLAR PAYOFF INDEED!
My sister is talking to me on her cellphone in the casino, and she's actually sitting right next to my mom, who's still playing nickel slots (I'm not sure, but it could've been THE SAME MACHINE she hit the jackpot on). She puts my mom on the phone for me to talk to, as I want to congratulate her on her win. This is sorta how my conversation went with my mom (now remember, my mom is currently playing on a slot machine):
Me: Hey Ma, Keitsa told me you hit a jackpot... ALLRIGHT!!
Mom: Yea (very nonchalantly and distant)
Me: How did you feel when it happened Ma?!
Mom: Happy (again very nonchalantly and distant)
Me: Keitsa wants us to all hook up, maybe we can go see The Palms for a bit before the show tonight.
Mom: Yea
Me: Mom, you're talkin' my ear off, hand the phone back to Keitsa okay?!
Mom: okay (and she hands the phone back to my sis)
I was waitin' for her to say...
UH OH... SIX MORE MINUTES TO WAPNER!
Jeez, I thought I was talkin to an idiot!
Anyway, Keitsa and I decide we're all going to check out the Palms for a bit. I call Linny's room and he's game. I call my other friends, Mac & Oscar, and I get no answer... oh well.
My sis & Dee appear at my hotel a little bit later. "Where's Ma" I ask?! My sis replies "STUCK on the slot machines... she ain't goin' NOWHERE"!
Too bad my mom can't count cards like Dustin Hoffman could! BUMMER
Anyways, we all head to the Palms.
The casino layout at the Palms was a little busy for me, but the place was BUZZING and the atmosphere was very good! After walking around a bit to get a feel for the place, we all went to sign up for slot cards, then Linny, Keitsa & her friend Dee went to "test out" their slot cards.
While the others run to machines, Paula & I, a little hungry from a long day so far (remember, we've been up since midnight), head for the food court area for a quick bite. She decides on an Asian meal from Panda Express (I think that's the name of it) and I get a couple of slices of pepperoni pizza from the Boston pizzeria place there. Paula said her food was good, and while I don't remember the name of the pizza joint, the pizza was also very good.
After this meal, Paula & I go our separate ways to gamble a bit, and of course I end up at the craps table (what else did you expect, huh?!). Nothing eventful happens during this particular session, except for the fact that there were TV monitors overtop of the pit area, that just happened to have on one of the best Pro B-Ball games I've seen in a while (Knicks-Bucks double overtime thriller!)!
After 75 or so minutes of treading water (not coincidently, right after the end of the B-Ball game), I cash out PLUS $15!
YIPPEE... dinner's on me!
I go to find the others and after about another half-hour or so, we're all ready to go (its about 4pm).
My sister & I drove separate vehicles, so she & Dee decided that they were going to go somewhere else, Paula & I on the other hand were feeling whipped. I decide that I'll make the trip to Sams Town now to pick up the showtix from the will call window instead of waiting until showtime, when there will undoubtably be a sizeable line. This strategy works out well, as when we get to Sams, there's no line at all, and I pick up our tickets with no problem. Back to the hotel for some rest and a shower before the show.
Soon its about 7pm, and Paula & I are just about ready to leave for the show. I've touched bases with Linny, and he'll meet us in the downstairs' lobby in a few minutes. Called Mac & Oscar AGAIN... again, no answer... I haven't seen these characters since they checked in YESTERDAY AT NOON. I guess that tells me that they're not going to the show huh?! Then I call my sister on her cell phone.
She answers me, sounding a little distressed. I ask her what the problem is, and she tells me....
MA'S STILL PLAYIN' THE SAME MACHINE AND SAYS SHE NOT GOING TO THE SHOW!!
My sister says she's pleaded with my mother for a while now, but its almost like my mom's got her tuned out.
I guess in my mom's mind, SHE'S WEARING HER K-MART UNDERWEAR AND THE PEOPLE'S COURT IS ON (six minutes to Wapner)!
UNBELIEVABLE!
Ma'am, place your hands over your head & step awaay from the slot machine... SIMPLY UNREAL!
Anyway, I basically tell my sis to relax & don't stress too much over this incident. I believe that you can't make people do what they don't want to do, so don't worry about it. She relaxes a bit and soon she and Dee show up at our hotel... The five of us head to Sams Town for the D.L. Hughley show.
If any of you have ever seen D.L. do stand-up (either live onstage, in a movie, on an HBO special, or on an old BET ComicView rerun) you know that he's quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and lethal to the patrons sitting in the first few rows... and this show was NO EXCEPTION! NO HOLDS BARRED!!!
I personally made sure that our seats were about 15 rows back, so as to stay out of harm's way!
THE SHOW WAS GREAT!
Even the comedian that opened up for D.L. was equally funny... I feel bad that I don't even remember his name, all I recall was that he was from Oakland... man, first I can't remember the name of the pizza place at the Palms and now I can't recall the comedian's name?!
I feel like Reagan at the Contra hearings...
I CAN'T RECALL... I CAN'T RECALL!!
And I don't even drink... my goodness, I must be gettin' old.
After the show, the others get slot cards while I head to (take a wild guess)....
[drum roll please]
if you said "the craps table", YOU WIN!
"Johnny, tell 'em what he's won"!
I choose a table where the folks have short stacks of chips (most times, a sign of a cold table, which is what I'm actually looking for) and buy-in just as the shooter is sevening out!
The dice pass to the next guy... a kindly, grandfatherly type (about 60ish or so... sorta in the mold of Wilford Brimsley), who seems to be a step slow on what's actually going on around him.
I place down my normal $40 "No 4" & "No 10" wagers, and ol' Wilford... er, I mean "GrandPa" proceeds to roll my numbers off, as well as about 4-5 passes! In total, he actually tossed the dice honestly about 50-60 times!
WOW!
By this time, the table is cluttered with chips (all except mine, they've seem to have mysteriously moved from my rails to the crap dealer's collected stacks... how did that happen?!), and the period between rolls becomes longer and longer, as payouts and new bets are being handled. Chips are flying everywhere!
Linny appears behind me, and asks me how things are going. I told him that this was the type of table that every "right betting" craps player looks for... this was THE hot table! And after showing him the rails of others, and the chips on the table being bet by the other players, he understood. However, I explained to him that this was THE ROLL FROM HADES for me (part 2), "'cause this guy won't throw any d@mn sevens"!
I think he could tell that I was a little testy, so he went to watch at another table. About 10-15 minutes later, Linny comes back and discovers that...
OL' WILFORD'S STILL ON THE DICE!
I tell him that he's been on the dice SINCE I'VE BEEN AT THE TABLE (which is honestly approaching 50 minutes)! REMARKABLE!
I'm pretty much pulling out my hair & teeth... too afraid to place down any more No bets because GrandPa's ssssmokin'(ala Jim Carrey), and also too afraid to bet with ol' Wilford and the table 'cause he's got to seven out at some point in time!
A difficult dilemma, indeed!
My gut tells me to place down a couple more No bets (at this time, I've actually been standing idly at this table for about 40 minutes waiting for a seven so that I can get back in the game... I may as well have been waiting to see the Loch Ness Monster swim by, 'cause it didn't appear either!), and so I do.
Before any of you say anything, I realize that this situation is similar to the episode that happened earlier at the Trop, but I can't get blistered TWO TIMES in ONE DAY, can I?!
YES!!! GrandPa pretty much picked my bets off with ease. I felt like a fool. I left the table without even seeing how much longer ol' Wilford kept throwin' dem bones!
MINUS $300 for the session.
With my tail thoroughly between my legs, I went to find Paula, who's always in good spirits. Linny went to listen to the live band playing in the lounge area. I found Paula at some nickel slots and poured out to her about what had just occurred at the craps table (she always seems so interested in my escapades... I like that... she's such a good woman). After sitting a while next to her, we talked as I watched her play a bit, and soon she was ready to call it a night.
Paula & I soon found my sister and Dee, scooped up Linny from the lounge, and we all headed back to MSS.
As I'm driving back I realize that even though I feel like I've been just kicked in the groin with a steel-toe boot by ol' Wilford, I'm still up for the trip (PLUS $112). Realizing that makes me feel sooo much better as we pull into port at Main Street Station.
End of Part 3
****
Again folks, I apologize if this is too drawn out or it bores anyone. Just trying to write it out as I remember it!
Take care all,
C DiP
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