Trip Report August 15-18, 2003

Many of my friends and probably some of you TalkVegans who read my trip reports may think I'm some sort of “superman” with the good luck I've had in Las Vegas. Well, let me assure you that I'm just as human as the rest of you. That was proven on this past trip where the Gambling Gods virtually ignored me the entire time!

Friday, August 15 - The trip got off to a bumpy start. It was hotter than hell in Chicago – total humidity and no breeze. By the time I got my luggage to my car, I was already drenched in sweat. The dryness of Las Vegas would be a welcome relief.

I had an 8:30AM flight on American Airlines. Happily, my upgrade came through. Unhappily, after they got us all boarded, the pilot came on and said there was something wrong with the plane and that it was being put “out of service.” Luckily, there was a “spare” airplane at the very next gate which they said they were going to use. However, it took nearly an hour to get everything, passengers, crew, and service items, transferred from one plane to another.

Normally the flights on American from Chicago to Las Vegas use S80 equipment, but this time we were flying on a 757 which meant there was going to be a movie on board! (S80's don't have any entertainment systems.) Watching a movie is a great way to kill time. The movie was ANGER MANAGEMENT with Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. It was very funny and I really enjoyed it. Little did I know that I was going to be watching many more movies over the next 3 days.

Although we left an hour late, the pilot made up some time in the sky and we landed only about 30 minutes late. I was happy that my luggage showed up after only a 5 minute wait but I was extremely unhappy to see a HUGE line of people waiting for cabs. This line bended and twisted all over the place and it was hard to find the end of it – it looked like a line that you'd see at an amusement park on a busy day. For one fleeting moment, I thought maybe I'd just go rent a car and walked over to the rental car area but there were huge lines there as well. I heard someone remark that everyone had “arrived at once.” Reluctantly, I got into the taxi line and it took nearly 30 minutes to get to the front of the line and it was hotter than hell standing in it (although it was somewhat of a relief from the humidity in Chicago). In fact, the heat was pretty miserable most of this trip (but of course, what can you expect from Las Vegas in August?).

I got into the cab and told the driver I'm heading to New York-New York. Once in the cab, I had to call my boss who had left an “urgent” voicemail on my cell phone. I was yacking away with him and wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Now normally I tell the driver to please take Paradise to Tropicana and not take the tunnel but I figured no one does that anymore. WRONG! The next thing I knew I was in the tunnel. This really irritated me and the cab ride ended up costing me double what it normally does. Angry, I only gave the driver a 10% tip (I normally tip 20% plus a few bucks for the bags). Let this be a lesson to everyone who takes a cab – make sure you tell the driver NOT to take the tunnel!

I got to NYNY at around 11:00AM but unfortunately my room wasn't ready (not a surprise). I went off to get lunch at their Mexican restaurant, Gonzalez y Gonzalez, which as usual was excellent. After that, I headed to my favorite Triple Play VP machines with the progressive Royals. All the jackpots were over $1,200, meaning no one had hit one in a while. I sat down to play and two minutes later, the woman next to me hits one for $1,300 on the middle line. In the meantime, I did nothing but lose, lose, lose.

After an hour of this self-abuse, I checked to see if my room was ready and it was. I got a nice Jacuzzi room on the back side of the hotel on the 15th floor. Although I wasn't on the side of the Strip, my room was at an angle of the hotel and I had windows with North and West views. Looking North, I could actually see the Aladdin, Bellagio, and the rest of the Strip – it was a nice view.

After getting settled in, I went down to my other favorite spot, the $1 DB VPs with the progressive royals and quads. And I sat down at the same machine where I had a royal dealt to me that last time for a sweet $5,600 payoff. This time, however, the machine was like a vacuum cleaner for money. I lost a lot rapidly. No fun at all.

Plan B was to hit the movies across the street at the Showcase cinemas. I settled on PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN which was fun to watch and had great special effects.

After that, I headed to Bellagio in hopes that Jimmy Hopper would be playing in the Fontana lounge (he usually plays Friday and Saturday nights). Unfortunately, Jimmy was on vacation. I bopped around the casino trying my luck at several $1 VP machines I've had luck on in the past but nothing was paying. I ended up settling in at a quarter Triple Play machine which was kind to me and helped me get back some of the money I lost during the afternoon.

After Bellagio, I walked back to NYNY to do battle with the Triple Plays. The bottom line was at $1,700 and the top line was around $1,300. I played for nearly two hours and was lucky enough to hit enough quads during the session so as to not lose too much money. Feeling tired, I headed to the room for a Jacuzzi and got to bed at 11:00PM.

Saturday, the 16th – I was up at 7:00AM – got a full 8 hours sleep – very rare for being in Las Vegas. I headed to America for breakfast (excellent omelets as always), then grabbed a cappuccino and settled in at the Triple Plays. I played for about 3 hours but had no luck at all. Didn't get killed but still lost. Left VP and headed over to Excalibur for some table games. Played blackjack for an hour and won exactly $5! Played craps for another hour and won $10! Had a lot of fun!

Speaking of craps, I think I have a new system – just pick a table where there are a lot of women. It doesn't matter what age they are, they just need to be women. For some reason, whenever I play craps, the women always seem to make money for me. I'm a firm believer in Lady Luck!

Back to NYNY after that, lost some more at VP, then headed to the room for a Jacuzzi and a nap.

That night I had a ticket for “Zumanity,” the new Cirque du Soleil show that had just opened two nights prior. Let me just say that this is a VERY strange show and didn't really seem like an “official Cirque” show at all. It seemed more like a typical Vegas show with a lot of naked (well, nearly naked) women and some naked men thrown in as well. Now believe me – I'm as big a Cirque fan as they come. I've seen every show that has toured the country at least twice since they started touring in the mid-80's. I've seen “Mystere” 4 times and “O” 3 times in Las Vegas. This show, however, I'm not sure I'm going to see it again.

They had a “Celebrity Opening Night” on Thursday. I saw some of them interviewed on TV after the show and no one seemed like they liked it very much. Penn (of Penn and Teller) was very polite in saying it was “different.” Charo wouldn't commit herself to an opinion, instead just kept saying to the interviewer, “I can't hear what you're saying.” She made her point very clearly. Another guy who I didn't know said the show might “need some tweaking” before it opens “officially” on September 20. I would hope they'd make some changes if this thing is going to last as long as “Mystere” and “O.”

Let me begin by saying this show is like a cross between a Freak Show that you'd see at a State Fair and a Fellini movie. It very much has an “S&M” theme. The “host” of the show is a drag queen, who introduces the “acts,” makes snide comments about them, and wears a series of leather costumes throughout the show. While amusing, he/she was more strange than funny. The rest of the show includes (and I'm not kidding about this, folks):
- Fire-eating lesbians in leather
- Two guys (one white, one black) in thongs who dance/fight rather violently and then end up in a French kiss
- Two fat women in black underwear and fishnets who feed strawberries to the audience
- A blow-up doll that comes to life and attacks people in the audience
- A topless blonde writhing on top of and in front of a TV which is showing a football game and 4 guys are watching it and telling her to get out of the way
- Another topless blonde women and a black guy fighting in a cage and end up with her blindfolded in a bathtub and he pours milk all over her
- Another blonde who does an acrobatic trapeze act with a shirtless male dwarf
- Another lesbian act with two women in a small, see-through pool, doing contortions
- A body-balancing act with a guy and girl wearing nothing but flesh-colored thongs (the guy had very visible bruises on his butt – I'm surprised they didn't cover them up)
- The comic relief was “religious right” people from the witch-hunt era who eventually end up naked
- A male Chippendales-type dancer who shakes everything at a bunch of women
- A guy dressed as a woman dominatrix dancing with a live python
- A double-jointed guy in a pair of boxers who does a bunch of gross contortions

The show culminates in a simulated orgy with the entire cast on stage and THEN they drag out a senior citizen couple from the audience who does an erotic dance. That was extremely disconcerting and somewhat repulsive.

So what was good about the show? I really liked the music. It was different – sort of funky, sort of bluesy – and the live band (suspended from the ceiling) was excellent, especially the woman playing electric violin. There were also a couple of very strong singers. The body-balancing act and the woman and the dwarf were the best acts (and the most like a typical Cirque show, except, of course, without the nudity). Some of the other acts, like the lesbian fire-eaters and the python guy, were amazingly bad.

I'm really not sure how this show is going to make it in the long-term. I honestly can't say I'd recommend it to anyone, unless they have a taste for something this extremely weird. I'm not sure the audience liked it either – the applause was somewhat tepid. Or maybe, like me, they were in shock. It will be interesting to see if they make significant changes to it during the next month. And it will be EXTREMELY interesting to read the critic's reviews. You know, they subtitle this show "Another Side of Cirque du Soleil." I think they should change that to "The Twisted Side of Cirque du Soleil."

After the show, I played $1 VP for a while and the guy next to me hit a royal for $4,300. After losing more money, I headed off to bed around midnight.

Sunday, August 17 – Woke up at 6:00AM wide awake. Now this is more typical of me in Vegas! Ventured downstairs, had breakfast at America, got a Cappuccino, and settled in at the Triple Plays. All three royals were still meaty since none of them had been hit in a few days now. Determined to hit one of them, I played for nearly 4 hours! Luckily, I hit Quad Aces several times and I played the 4 hours on my initial investment. In fact, when I cashed out I was even.

At this point, my eyes were blurry, my back and butt hurt from sitting so long, and my right arm and ring finger were sore from hitting the buttons so much – I definitely had (and still have) Carpel Tunnel Syndrome from playing so much! So I opted for another movie – this time FINDING NEMO, the animated film from Pixar – I really enjoyed it.

After the movie, I headed over to Mandalay Bay for the 5:00PM show of “Mamma Mia!” I never really had much of an interest in this show but I'd heard so much good about it that I finally bit the bullet and went. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked it. While it's not a “great” show, it's a “good” show and a lot of fun to watch. It takes a while to get going but as the show goes along, there are more and more musical numbers which are fun. I really enjoyed hearing all that ABBA music again. I was surprised to realize how many hits they had. The cast is young and energetic and really seemed to be enjoying themselves.

After this show, I sought out their quarter DB VP games with progressive quads and royals and finally had some luck at VP. I hit a several quads (including Aces) and cashed out with about a $300 profit. Interestingly, the woman next to me got a Royal for $1,100. This is the third day in a row that a person next to me hit a Royal. What's going on here?

Then headed back to NYNY via the Krispy Kreme shop in Excalibur. In fact, that was my dinner that night! Stopped to play craps for a little while and made a few bucks on the lady rollers! Then played blackjack and had one of those sessions where the dealer consistently showed a 6 and then would draw to a 21. I got out of there quickly. Back at NYNY, I logged a few more hours at the Triple Plays with no luck and retired around midnight.

Monday the 18th – Started the day out again at the Triple Plays with no luck. Went to the Orleans for some table games. Had some good luck playing craps where an elderly lady rolled the dice for nearly 30 minutes. It was a lot of fun and I managed to make a tidy profit. Went to the movies (BRUCE ALMIGHTY with Jim Carrey – just okay) and then returned to NYNY for my final evening. Had an early dinner at Chin Chin, their Chinese restaurant, excellent as always (if you go, try their Mongolian Beef).

After dinner, the royals at the Triple Plays STILL hadn't been hit. The bottom line was at $2,500 and the top line around $2,000, the middle line around $1,500. These things HAD to be due, so I thought. I settled in for another long session (around 3 hours) but still had no luck. With the jackpots being so large, the machines were full but no one could hit the royals. I was hoping SOMEONE would hit so I could get on with my life. But alas, after 3 days in a row with someone next to me hitting a royal, no one did. Tired, bleary-eyed, and sore, I eventually quit and went upstairs to pack. I figured I'd logged nearly 20 hours at these machines over my 4 days in Vegas. Isn't THAT amazing? I don't work that hard at my JOB!!! Only in Vegas! Got to bed around 11:00PM.

Tuesday the 19th – Had a 6:15AM flight back to Chicago, which meant I set the alarm for 4:00AM. What a short night. Upgrade came through, flight left right on time. Had some guy who sucked down 6 Jack Daniels during the fight next to me who told me he'd lost nearly $10,000 on this trip. My losses were a pittance next to that so I stopped feeling sorry for myself after that flight. Win or lose, I always have a great time in Vegas and my motto is, “I'll get "em next time!”

Mike,

Will you come out and sit next to me on my next trip?

Zumanity sounds kind of interesting to me. I may have to check it out. Sounds like they should have spelled it ZOOmanity!

Only six Jack's between Vegas and Chicago? The guy's a light-weight.

Great report. Those gambling gods can be extremely fickle. Believe me, I know just how cantankerous they can be.

Thanks for your take on Zumanity. Doesn't really sound like my cup of tea. Perhaps we've become used to the engaging qualities of all the preceding Cirque shows. "Cutting edge" can be very uncomfortable. Not sure I'm up to it.

Thanks for your most enjoyable TR.

Nice Report. I was wondering if you still had to tell the cabbies not to take the tunnel. I always do but don't want to insult their intelligence. I guess you do.

Mike....Great report as always. You can't win al the time, but it sure would be nice...wouldn't it? LOL
The Mama Mia show, how would you describe the age group attending the show? I'm guessing over 40?

Looks like I must give the American cafe another try. You constantly rave up the place and my one and only experiance there was horrible. I must have caught them on a bad day.

It's a shame you got suckered with the TUNNEL trick. It's shamefull they still pull that on tourists. You where much kinder then I would have been when it came to tipping for that trip!

Maybe next time you go to play VP, you should pick a place to sit....then sit one seat over! LOL

Thanks for posting a very informative trip report, and an enjoyable read.
Lee-PA

Great read! Thanks! I have friends in that new Cirque show at NYNY so your comments about it were interesting. I bet a good number of changes are being made at present.

Question: At what point does it become economically feasible to use the tunnel?

Thanks, Will

Will - you have friends in "Zumanity?" I'd love to know who they are and what they think of the show.

Jeff - If you're interested in "Zumanity," then certainly go see it. I'm not sorry I saw it, I just didn't believe what I was seeing!

PA-Cop - I thought EXACTLY the same thing about not insulting their intelligence by telling them not to take the tunnel. I was wrong!

Lee - There was a wide range of people in the audience at "Mamma Mia!" It was a 5:00PM show on a Sunday so there were a lot of families but then there were many couple in their 40's and 50's.

I admit that America can be bad service-wise when they're busy. I've never had bad food there but I have had bad service in the past. I usually try to go when they're not busy and if they are and I choose to stay, I sit at the counter and eat. The bartenders are pretty attentive.

Mike:
Very interesting trip report. Sorry the Gambling Gods didn't favor you this time. Zumanity must be a really "different" show. Thanks for the detailed description.

Susan

OK Mike,
I went and had breakfast in the Cafe of America. Service was good, I admit, higher prices then what we pay downtown, but it was good! Darn Good!

Played in the casino too, Where exactly are your progressives you like to play??? I looked, and for the life of me, couldn't find them. I ended up playing a multi denom game for halfs and hitting Aces, to bring me back to even for a breif moment in time! Played by "The Watch company"??? Slant tops.

Lee -

The dollar progressives at NYNY are in a darkly lit area across from the outside seating at Il Forneo. They're between Il Forneo and the craps tables.

The quarter triple play progressives are around the corner from the men's room nearest to the Century Tower.

Glad you like American and at least got even at NYNY!

Mike

Mike,
I don't see how I could have missed the quarter progressives! I was looking for those darn things and I can picture the area you are talking about (even used the restrooms) I must be going blind? Promiss to look better next time! LOL
They had a promotion for people that opened a new card and put 10 points on the card, got a free tee shirt. Sharon was a new sign-up, and she got 2 cards....we had here a tee-shirt in no time flat!